Making Canned Bread

Canned Bread

Making food on a daily basis is a struggle few people still living at home can or will understand. Preparing food doesn’t just consist of whipping together things you have in the fridge and pantry, it’s so much more than that. Someone has to actually go to the grocery store, have a basic understanding of what they want to make, and then subsequently get the appropriate ingredients to make a meaningful meal.

Obviously, that’s bullshit and nobody likes doing that – so what most people do quite naturally is go to a grocery store and get ready-made shit like cans, microwave foods, frozen foods, etc. I’m as guilty as the next guy in doing so and it’s a disgusting habit to get into. So whenever an opportunity presents itself to deviate from the boring old canned/frozen food combo, I jump on it like a lazy person in the frozen foods aisle.

If you’ve kept up with my posts, you’ll know that there’s one thing I hate more than read-made canned soup – and that’s ready-made canned lentil soup that you get from Costco. If you were to ask me why I bother getting it, I probably wouldn’t be able to answer. It’s just something I have lying around in case the apocalypse goes down. Should there be a power outage or general looting and riots in the streets, I want to make sure that I’m miserable for just a little bit longer.

Anyway, no part of the above mentioned soup actually tastes any good, it’s just matter with some lentils and beans in it. It doesn’t eat well, and it definitely doesn’t digest well, which is why I decided to sacrifice one of my cans in the interest of science – by pursuing to make the easiest meal in the history of ready-meals.

Today’s post will only have 2 ingredients: soup and flour. If you can’t keep up with this one, you should make your way to the nearest forest and let evolution take its course. I present to you: Canned Bread:

Recipe

Anybody with an elemental understanding of food can tell you that dough is literally just flour and water. If you want to be fancy, maybe you can add some salt to it, too, but that’s outside the scope of this recipe. If you’ve made soup before and didn’t like how watery it turned out (shocker, right?), I’m sure you’ve heard people suggest that you add in some flour just to thicken it up a bit (in lieu of corn starch, obviously).

What happens when you add too much flour, though? That’s what I set to find out.

Ingredients

Although I usually like to give somewhat accurate measurements on how much of what ingredient to add to get a desired result, this recipe requires a bit of intuitive thinking. My approximate ratio for flour:soup was 2:1 cups:cans.

2014-09-19 12.35.51I bet you could train a dog to make this for you.

For this recipe you’ll need:

  • 2 cups of flour
  • 1 can of lentil soup
  • breadcrumbs (optional)
  • cajun (super optional)

Next I’ll demonstrate just how hard it is to put these 4 things together.

First and foremost, you should use a large bowl because mixing flour is a nasty, disgusting and most of all messy job. Unless you want to start looking like bread, I’d recommend you probably put on an apron of sorts ,too.

Once you’ve covered that base, go ahead and put the flour into your bowl, creating a bit of a crater for the soup to rest in.

2014-09-19 12.37.32The recipe is so easy that I have to take mundane pictures to illustrate what I’m doing. If I were to make this post any more illustrative, it would turn into a pop-up book.2014-09-19 12.38.23 Awwww yea, look at that disgusting goop make a nest in the flour. Nasty.2014-09-19 12.38.52This looks like something British people would eat for breakfast. I think I can understand why Scotland wanted a referendum.

Using a wooden spoon, slowly scoop flour into the center of the bowl until it starts turning into a flaky dough. When you’re at that stage, ditch the spoon and start kneading with your hands.

2014-09-19 12.39.16Ever wonder how I take pictures when I make food?  2014-09-19 12.40.45As you knead it, you’ll notice that it’s going to get stickier and stickier. When that happens, just dust it with some flour.2014-09-19 12.42.52This is what you’re looking for in a dough.

And there you have it, your dough is ready to be made into smaller dough-balls. The next step is to cut the dough into smaller sections, turn those sections into little balls, and then individually roll them into a flatbread.

2014-09-19 12.43.47Always make sure your work surface is well dusted with flour. Do not, under any circumstances, substitute flour with cocaine. 2014-09-19 12.44.22I’m curious what would happen if I were to bake this bad boy. But that’s for another post. 2014-09-19 12.45.092014-09-19 12.46.552014-09-19 12.48.13Once you’re at this step, you’re basically done. All that’s left is rolling them and pan-frying them up.

If you’ve had trouble keeping up until this point, I suggest you skip the next 2 pictures because we’re gonna get into some “advanced” territory for you n00bs. Instead of just frying the bread after rolling it, we’ll first coat the outside with some spices and breadcrumbs to make it look and taste better.

2014-09-19 12.48.59I decided to mix breadcrumbs with BBQ Chicken powder, cajun, salt and pepper to give it a nice smell and taste. This step is purely optional.2014-09-19 12.50.10Just my luck, I got the shittiest breadcrumbs Co-Op had to offer. I may as well have bought dried bread, or broken croutons. Bullcrap.2014-09-19 12.52.35If you’ve got a rolling pin, now it’s time to use it. If you don’t, then just spread the dough out under your palms. Add flour as required.2014-09-19 12.54.45The second to last step is to push the tough into your breadcrumb mix. The point isn’t to get a lot of it on the bread, instead you just want to have a contrasting texture when you’re eating it.

Before frying anything, make sure that you’ve preheated your pan beyond reasonable doubt. Preheat the pan at low-medium heat for 5 minutes. When you’re done, put a little bit of oil in the pan and put in your dough. After about a minute on each side, your bread will be ready.

2014-09-19 13.03.13When the bread starts to bubble you’ll know it’s time to turn it over. 2014-09-19 13.04.49Awww yiissssss2014-09-19 13.06.58Truth is, the bread won’t always look this good. It’ll turn darker once you take it off the heat.2014-09-19 13.07.06This is the entire operation. Very high tech, as you can tell.

And that’s it! Once your bread is off the stove, dry it with a paper towel and it’s ready to enjoy!

The Result

Considering how little time it takes to prep and fry these bad boys, it’s well worth making some every other week, depending on how lazy you feel. The bread not only tastes good, it’s super filling as well. One may compare them to Indian style Roti’s, although I haven’t had any so I can’t make a fair comparison.

The beans and lentils blend together seamlessly and only contribute to the overall flavour of the bread. Add some balsamic vinegar like I did in the bottom picture and you’ve got yourself both a perfect main and a delicious side for stews like butter-chicken and curry.

2014-09-19 13.29.162014-09-19 13.30.42

Would I make this recipe again? Absolutely! I even used an exclamation mark just now, so you know I’m serious. With only 15 minutes and minimum attention, it’s a worthy investment of time that I’ll do more often, especially since I don’t like the canned soup anyway.

As always, share your thoughts on this and try to make it yourself, as well. If you haven’t had a chance to follow me on facebook, then I definitely recommend you do so because that’s where I post most of the pictures that don’t make it on the blog. Enjoy!

Comments

  • shahrooz September 20, 2014 Reply

    Looks very easy and delicious. It’s worth trying.

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